2 Months
by Twi4lyflovetaylorlaut
Summary: "It had been 2 months since i had fallen in love with my best friend". A New fic hopefully better than my other one about Nessie and Jakes life together after Breaking Dawn. Cannon Couples. M - just incase
1. Chapter 1

**Second Fic coz my first one was heaps bad ;P. Stephenie Owns everything except the storyline from now on. That's my creation****. Plus I would like to own some Taylor Lautner someday. **

Nessie's POV

It had been 2 months. 2months since I had fallen in love with my best friend. I had always felt an odd connection but these days it pained me to be away from him. Of course, no one else knew this and especially not Jacob. I had learned to control my thoughts around my dad but since everyone else had gone hunting I knew my thought were private.

I lay on my bed with my iPod on softly as I looked around my room in our cottage. It had been 8 years since my birth. Unlike normal 8 year old girls, I looked like an old 16 year old, young 17 year old. I had the intellect of a 17 year old as well. Growing up we discovered I had some human aspects to me as well. I started my period about 2 years ago, I went through puberty and got hormones like other teenage girls and I definitely grew like other girls although a lot faster. My bedroom had also changed as I got older. No longer did it hold pictures of me in frilly dresses and in my family's arms. I now had pictures of me and Jake mostly, but there were some of family hunts, days at La push with the other wolves and just recently pictures of me with my new car. My cot was switched to a single bed, then a double bed. My wardrobe contents were changed about a thousand times thanks to Alice, and my room now held a desk on which sat my laptop, my iphone and my camera which I adored. I was always taking photos. This took me back to thinking about Jacob.

I remember when I first started to see him differently. It was about two years ago. I noticed how the sun shone off his hair, how incredible his grin was and how gorgeous he looked when he had come out of the rain. I saw other girls my age with their boyfriends around the place but I just didn't see other guys. All I saw was Jake. But I knew he was off limits. Not only was he my best friend, but one day I heard Mum talking to him about imprinting. When Jake left I asked her about it and she'd said "When you're older you'll understand". I knew from then on he had imprinted. I just didn't know who. I had known for a year about his imprinting when I knew I was in love with him and I couldn't do anything about it. I felt my eyes well up and a tear rolled down the side of my cheek. As soon as I started crying I couldn't stop. I just didn't understand how I could feel this way. It was so unfair. I went to look at myself in the mirror. My eyes were red and my cheeks were tearstained. I was about to go for a walk but my phone rang.

"Hello?" I answered, sniffing.

"_Ness?" _It was Jacob.

"Jake, Hi" I replied.

"_Ness are you ok you sound like you're crying?"_ He said. I could imagine his face pulling into a frown with worry.

"I'm ok" I answered.

"_I don't believe you" _He said. I smiled. _"But I'm coming over anyway to keep you company while everyone's off hunting" _he continued. I could hear the grin in his voice.

"Ok then. See you soon" I replied and hung up. I decided to change so I at least looked a little respectable. I slipped on a pair of dark skinnys and a pair of ugg boots, followed by a tee-shirt and my favourite hoodie. I brushed my hair and then went to the kitchen to find something to eat. I had just finished putting the nachos in the microwave when the doorbell rang. I went to answer it and Jake stood there looking gorgeous as usual but he was holding a block of chocolate.

"Jake!" I squealed still eyeing the chocolate. He grinned at me holding the chocolate high above my head. I pouted and started to shut the door but he grabbed me round the waist and tickled me. I giggled and ran back to the kitchen. He shut the door laughing and followed me. As soon as he saw the nachos his face lit up and gave me the chocolate.

"Trade?" he asked hopefully.

"Let's share" I said grinning. "I want both". I took the nachos to my room and Jake followed with the chocolate. We sat on my bed munching.

I didn't want to have the conversation I knew we were about to have. It was just too hard.

"So Ness" he said eyeing me intently. "What's up?" I pretended not to know what he meant and looked away from him.

"Not much" I replied innocently. He was about to say something but his phone rang and he got up and walked out to answer it. My heart sank and I leaned back on the pillow. Jake never walked away to answer the phone.

Jakes POV

My phone rang just as I was about to pry the information out of Nessie. I walked out to answer the phone when I saw it was Rachel. She had gone to the doctor because she thought she might have been pregnant and I knew she didn't want me to tell anyone. I didn't want my face to give away anything either.

"Hello?" I answered once I had left the cottage.

"_Hey Jake!_ "I heard Rachel exclaim happily.

"Positive?" I asked grinning like an idiot.

"_YEP!" _ She squealed with excitement.

"Rach that's awesome!" I exclaimed. "I'm so happy for you". Paul and Rach had wanted a baby for a while.

"_I have to go call dad, I'll speak to you soon. Bye Jake"_ and before I could say anything she was gone. I chuckled and went back inside to Nessie. I walked into her room and was about to continue the interrogation but saw she was asleep. I loved to listen to her thoughts when she was asleep so I put her hand up to temple and watched her dream. I smiled when I saw myself in her dreams. I loved this girl with all my heart. It had been about 2 months ago that I actually realised I was in love with her. I didn't know how much longer I could go without telling her that I loved her. I just wanted to be with her. Edward and Bella didn't want me rushing it in case she didn't love me. I knew it could happen and I was a little apprehensive. I heard Nessie sigh and I was about to leave before I heard her mumble "I love you Jacob". I whipped my head around to see if she was awake but her breaths were even and her eyes were closed. I placed her hand on my head again and as she mumbled 'I love you Jake" I saw her dream. We were running through the forest and I was chasing her. I picked her up round the waist, spun her around and kissed her.

As soon as I saw this I dropped her arm and gasped loudly. This woke Nessie up and she looked at me and blushed. She looked down at her hands akwardly but I gently put my finger under her chin and lifted hen head up to look at me.

"I think it's time for me to explain a few things" I told her.

**I just want to thank everyone who reviewed etc. Nessie's Future. I'm sorry it wasn't written very well but i hope this will be better. Thanks Again**

**xxxxx**


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys, thanks to everyone who reviewed. Just letting you know that this isn't a one shot and I will hope fully upload once or twice a week. Thanks for your support so far and keep reading and reviewing ! xxx

~*~*~*~ **Stephenie Meyer owns everything, im just playing with characters ****"**~*~*~*~

We were both sitting on her bed. I was about to tell her everything. I looked directly at her, took a deep breath and began.

"Nessie, there is a thing us werewolves do. It's called imprinting".

"I know you've imprinted on someone Jake" Ness interrupted. "I heard you and mum talking about it one day and when I asked her about it she said I'd understand when I'm older".

"Oh" was all I could think of to say. Nessie knew I imprinted on her?

"Oh. That's all you've got to say?" said Nessie. I could hear the hurt in hear voice but she had pulled her face away from my hand. "Look it's not like I'm going to act on my feelings for you. I've heard about the story of Sam and Leah. I know I don't have a chance with you if you have an imprint but couldn't you be a bit more sympathetic than _Oh_?" She was getting fired up now and I was super confused.

"But Nessie, you are my imprint" I told her. "I thought you knew that".

As soon as I said this her head snapped up and I saw a glimmer of hope in her eyes.

"Really?" she whispered. I couldn't do anything but nod.

"Can you explain everything?" she asked. I could hear the curiosity in her voice. I took a deep breath and began.

"OK" I started. "Well you know how your dad left your mum and went to Italy". Nessie nodded so I continued. "Well your mum and I became friends and I fell in love with her". Nessie's eyes widened and started to get up but I stopped her and held up my hand. "Just before your dad was fighting the newborns, I kissed her. Your dad was not happy but your mum realised she was in love with me". I could see Nessie's eyes begin to water so I dragged her into my arms and continued. "Your mum had to choose between me and your dad. Of course she chose Edward. I was heartbroken and bitter but I couldn't do anything about it. That was until you came along. As soon as I saw you, on your very first day of life, I imprinted" Nessie was now silently crying and I wiped the tears away from her face.

"Jacob" she whispered.

"Hold on Ness, I'm almost done" I continued.

"From that point on I went back to being your mum's best friend and her mine. That was as far as our feelings went. As you got older, you and I became best friends and two months ago, I realised I was in love with you". I saw Nessie's eyes light up at this and she smiled. "Nessie I love you and I want to be with you forever". She started crying again and she threw her arms around me and buried her head into my shoulder. I rubbed her back.

"Oh Jake" she cried. "I love you so much". It was amazing to finally hear those words.

"You don't know how long I have been waiting to hear those words" I whispered in her ear. She let go of me and sat back down on her bed. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to hers. She opened her mouth and ran her fingers through my hair. I moaned subconsciously and pressed my hand to the small of her back. She sucked on my bottom lip and I massaged her tongue with mine. I moaned again and she giggled. We broke apart and leant back on the pillows, trying to catch our breath.

"Ness" I gasped in between breaths. "How are you so good at kissing?"

She giggled again and said "I have been dreaming about this moment for a long time" she said happily. She snuggled into me and I wrapped my arms around her. It wasn't long before we had both fallen asleep.

NESSIES POV

I could not believe my luck. Not only was I Jakes imprint, he loved me. I was screaming with joy inside. We were both still asleep when mum and dad came home.

"Renesmee" Mum called. I woke up and saw Jake still asleep, snoring loudly. I giggled. I got up and walked into the living room. I ran up to mum, unable to contain my excitement and put my hand to her head and showed her my afternoon. I had forgotten about dad until I heard a loud crash and saw him storm into my bedroom. A second later dad was outside with Jacob.

"Mum" I said nervously.

"Renesmee you are still very young" she said seriously. "Although we knew this was going to happen we just went sure when. It will take a while to get used to". She then pulled me into a hug.

JACOBS POV

"Jacob" Edward growled. I knew what he was going to say. To be honest I didn't really think about how young Nessie was. I was kind of shocked when she said she loved me.

"I get it Jacob" Edward said. "Maybe you could wait another year?" Before I could think or say anything Nessie burst out of the front door.

"NO" she yelled. "I don't want to wait. I'm basically 17!" She screamed.

"Nessie" I said reassuringly. "I'm not going to go anywhere but I think your dad's right. Maybe we could wait another year". I took a step towards her but she growled at me.

"EVERYONE THINKS I'M TOO YOUNG!" Nessie screamed. "IM SO SICK OF BEING TREATED BY A CHILD".

"Nessie Calm down" I tried again.

"DON'T TRY TO PACIFY ME!" she yelled.

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen" Bella said sternly. If it wasn't such a tense situation I would've laughed. Who would've thought Bella could have a teenage daughter at the way she looked.

"Come inside NOW" Bella continued. She took Nessie by the hand and all but dragged her into the cottage. Nessie was now crying and all I wanted to do was comfort her.

Edward then turned to me. "Maybe I was a little harsh. I guess you could date casually" he said uncertainly.

I had never seen Edward look so undecided. He let out a small chuckle at that.

"Can I talk to her?" I asked.

Edward looked at me and then nodded. I walked into the cottage, past Bella and knocked on Nessie's door. I walked in and sat on her bed. She glared at me and was about to tell me to leave but I started talking before she could say anything.

"Ness, I know your dad said we could date but I just think that maybe we're not ready" I said to her. She growled at me when I said that. I held my hands up and continued talking.

"I just think that maybe we should think about everything. I mean it's going really fast". I tried to continue but she interrupted.

"Out" she said loudly.

"What?" I replied.

"OUT" she yelled pointing to the door. "I DONT WANT TO HEAR ANYMORE". I stood up and left. Passing Bella and Edward on the way out I ran out and phased straight away. I growled loudly and ran into the woods. How did I screw it up so fast. I had just ruined what could have been a perfect day.

Nessies POV

Right now, I hated everyone and everything. I hated being too young, I hated being the only half vampire half humin in my family and I hated being in love with a werewolf. I didn't know what to do so I jumped out of my window and into my car before anyone could stop me. I decided to head to a local bar. I parked the car and got out. Being a Cullen, my car was fast and expensive. I had picked it out myself and I adored it. It was an aqua blue Porche Boxter with a black leather interior. It was one of my favourite things I owned. There were people heading into the bar, and as I looked around I heard someone whistle. I turned around to see a guy that looked about 18. He winked at me. I walked over to him.

"Hey" I said boldly. To be honest I wasn't really sure what I was doing and I knew it was stupid but I was so angry and wasn't thinking straight.

"Hey yourself" He said cheekily.

"I'm Renesmee" I introduced myself.

"James" he replied. "Boyfriend?"

I thought about it for a sec. If Jake thought I was too young, then that was his bad luck. I shook my head.

"Good" he replied. He bent down to my height and He pressed his lips to mine and sucked on my bottom lip. I gave him entrance and faked a moan. Of course I felt terrible doing this but I wanted to show everyone just how old I was.

"Your place or mine?" he asked when he had stopped sucking on my lips. It felt like my brain had disconnected with my lips. I wanted to scream and tell him "NO" but I couldn't. All I wanted to do is be in the safety of Jake's arms.

"Mine" I said stupidly. "Follow me there". I turned around and walked back to my car. I watched through the review mirror as he followed me out of the car park. I knew this was really stupid but right now I didn't care. A few minutes later I pulled into the driveway. I walked to the front door and tried to open it but it was locked. I smiled to myself and pulled out my keys. Everyone was out looking for me. Perfect. I heard James follow me and I took him but the hand into my bedroom. I layed down on my bed and he climbed on top of me. By this time I was freaking out. I had no idea what I was doing and when everyone found out I would be dead. I didn't know how to stop so I just continued. He started kissing me again so I started to unbutton his shirt, praying that he didn't see my hands shaking. I slipped it off and focused on kissing him again

JACOBS POV

I didn't know where Nessie had gone. As soon as she left Edward called me. He was stressing out because Alice couldn't see where she was and he didn't know. I had looked for her round La Push so I decided to wait for her back at the cottage. I walked towards the door and thought I could hear something. I turned the handle and found it was open. That surprised me. I had always rolled my eyes when Edward said he had locked the door because he could easily stop a robber before he could take anything. I ignored it and went inside. I heard another noise.

"Nessie?" I called. I walked towards her room and pushed open the door. There lying on the bed was my gorgeous girl. Not only was she underneath someone with his shirt off, they were kissing and she had her hands in his hair. I gasped and she heard. Her face appeared out from his shoulder with the guiltiest expression I had ever seen. I pulled out my phone.

"Edward" I spoke with lightning speed. "You've got to get home now. Nessies here. She's not hurt. In fact she's perfectly fine. She's lying on her bed underneath a guy with his shirt off". And with that I snapped the phone shut and looked at Nessie with the angriest and hurt expression, and growled so loudly, I swear the windows of the cottage rattled. The bastard then turned around to face me, grinning.

"Who are you?" he sneered

That made me stop for a second. I hadn't asked Nessie to be my girlfriend and I wasn't sure where we stood after this afternoon.

"Yeah, I didn't think so" he replied, still grinning nastily. I wanted to punch his light out and I was so close to phasing. My whole body was vibrating with anger and I was breathing as deeply as I could. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep my anger under control so I spun on my heel and turned to leave.

"Jacob" I heard her plead quietly. I almost turned around at the sound of her voice but for the second time in my life, I knew that not talking at all was better.

"Shut the hell up Renesmee and never talk to me again" I growled without even turning around. I stormed out and phased as soon as I had reached the woods for the second time in one day.


	3. Chapter 3

**I had a review that said Nessie was a slut in the last chapter. I know it seemed like that and that's the message I was kind of going for. I know in Breaking Dawn, it never seemed like Nessie would end up like she did but she is so confused with hormones and everything and let's not forget that even though she looks older and when she was young she was very smart but her thoughts, emotions has to catch up and she's probably a little naive still as she is only around 8.**

**Keep the reviews coming guys, thanks for reading **

~*~*~*~ **Stephenie Meyer owns everything, I'm just playing with characters****"**~*~*~*~

Renesmee POV

It was the day after Jake had walked in on me with James. I knew it was a stupid thing to do. My hormones are still getting the better of me and I was just so angry. So were mum and dad when they found out. Mum tearlessly sobbed while saying "what happened to your upbringing" and dad didn't even try and be nice and yelled at me for two hours about how hard it is to watch me grow up so fast and how could you do this to everyone". I sat on my bed, crying. I couldn't b believe how selfish I had been. I didn't think of how it would affect anyone else, only me. I wasn't allowed to leave the house and mum or dad was always with me. Grandma was upset and so was grandpa. My uncles and aunts weren't allowed to visit me even if they wanted but I doubted they did.

Jake hadn't made any contact. Not that I expected him to. I saw the look in his eyes when he saw me in my bedroom. There is no one else that could have done to make him look that distraught and angry. He looked so lost and upset. I knew that he had been feeling a little down since it was the anniversary of his mum's death and the only one that could bring pain like that back is me. I knew he loved me. He had come to find me. To apologise and I threw it in his face. My mind drifted back to last night. Mum and dad were home before James could leave. Dad threw him out and he left as quickly as he could. Then the yelling began. I also heard the most pained, distraught, depressed howl I have ever heard from one of the wolves. Jake. I felt my eyes well up with tears and the silently dripped down my face as I shook, overwhelmed by all my emotions. My heart was breaking and I was the one that had done the hurting. I couldn't imagine how cheated Jake would feel. Somewhere in the middle of all this, sleep found me and I drifted into subconsciousness.

I wasn't sure if I was still dreaming when I heard a knocking. For a second I got my hopes up and Jake was here but then I heard mums voice. "Breakfast" she said without emotion. I knew this was hard on her because she had hurt Jake as well and had to go through that all over again. I sighed and rolled over. It wasn't until then I had registered that I had fallen asleep yesterday afternoon and had slept until this morning. I slowly got up, put on a pair of socks and padded into the kitchen. I sat down at the table where my breakfast was waiting for me. All I kept thinking about was Jakes howl. I wanted to feel as bad as he did. I wanted him to hurt me as I did.

"Your mum can do that Renesmee" I heard dad say. I turned around and saw mum looking at him confused. He walked over to where she was sitting on the couch and pulled her into his arms.

"She wants to understand how much she hurt Jacob" he explained. Mum nodded. She walked over to me and sat next to me. I saw her forehead crease, as it did when she was trying to project her shield so she could share her thoughts. I didn't understand what was happening.

"Your mum is going to show you how Jake was when she chose me over him" dad informed me. I could hear a well hidden emotion in his voice but I was too preoccupied to think about that when I was focusing on mum.

"I had gone to see Jacob when I found out he was hurt" She began the story. "We had begun to talk and then he surrendered the battle between me choosing your father and me choosing him. He was showing me that he love me the most. _I'm not going to cut you in half anymore". _I watched his expression as I watched the replay.

"_Can I tell you what the worst part is" Jake asked my mother._

"_Will it help?" she whispered._

"_It might. The worst part is knowing what could have been. I'm exactly right for you. It would have been as comfortable as breathing"._

"We would have been soul mates in a world where there were no monsters and magic and supernatural things" mum said, bringing me back from her thoughts. "It was unfair that I got off so lucky and Jacob got nothing. Just the pain and the knowledge that I would soon be an enemy". She continued the story through her thoughts,

"_He's like a drug for you, Bella" Jake said gently."I would have been healthier for you. Like the sun"._

"_I used to think of you as my own personal sun" my mother half smiled at him. "You balanced out the clouds._

"_The clouds I can handle" he answered with a sigh. "But I can't fight with an Eclipse"._

"We started talking about the wedding" my mum said, continuing with the story. "His voice was very calm. I stared at him, curious about his expression. He met my eyes for a second before he twisted his head away, trying to get his emotions and his breathing under control. We talked about my fears for a while until the conversation just drifted off.

"_You know I love you" my mother whispered to him, while he was lying, injured in his bed._

"_You know how I wish it was enough" he breathed."I'll always be waiting in the wings Bella"._

Mum began to pull away from him and I could feel the sense of loss, a tearing separation from both of them.

"_You'll always have that spare option if you want it" he told her._

_She tried to smile. _

"_Let me know if you want me to come back". I saw him turn his cheek towards her and she kissed him. _

"_Love you Jacob"._

"_Love you more" he replied._

"And I walked away, seeing an unfathomable expression in his face" she finished.

I knew what that expression was. It was a hint of the look he had in his eyes when he left yester day.

"Yes" I heard my father say softly.

I wasn't aware of when I started crying but I was suddenly sobbing profusely and very loudly. I felt my mother's cool arms pull me from my chair and in-between her and dad where they both wrapped their arms around me. Dad kissed me on my cheek and mum stroked my hair out of my face, kissing me on the forehead.

"We love you Renesmee" My mum said, hugging me tightly as I cried and whimpered into her shoulder.

"And we forgive you" dad said softly, and lovingly as he tightened his grip. I felt very loved and very safe but kept shedding the tears for the wounded and heartbroken boy I loved so much. All I could picture was his face. His heart was ripped out by my mum, only to have it ripped out again by me, whom his love was much stronger for. All while he was being strong for his sisters and father, as they were remembering their mother that would never return.

**Review - Please**

**Thanks for reading. I'm up to 6 reviews so far so thanks !**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry it's been so long guys. I don't know if anyone is still interested in reading. I was discouraged as there were no reviews for last chapter and I put lots of thought into it. The reviews really help and encourage me to keep writing.**

**Stephenie owns everything. Lucky her...**

Jacobs POV

It had been a week since I saw my gorgeous girl underneath some shirtless tool. I hadn't been near Forks since. I hadn't really been anywhere. I pretty much just phased when I needed to and other than that, eat when I was hungry, shower when I needed to and spoke when I was spoken to. I was emotionally drained all the time. I was torn between anger and depression. I was overreacting a little but she had meant everything to me and straight after I had told her about imprinting she went and betrayed me. True we hadn't set anything in stone but I thought she had understood my feelings for her. I decided I had had enough. Sat up from my lying position on my bed and walked to my wardrobe. I grabbed a bag and packed it with a few sets of clothes and pairs of shoes, a tooth brush, some money and my phone. I looked around my room and walked out, shutting the door behind me.

Dad looked up when he heard the door and his face dropped when he saw the bag in my hand.

"Jake please" he began but I walked out before he could say anything.

"You have Rachel around, you'll be fine" I called out, dumping my bag in the back seat of my rabbit. I had never gotten a new car, although I could afford one with the job I had at the garage.

"Where are you going? Dad called. I could hear the concern in his voice. I understood it too. I was a shadow of my former self. Even if it had only been one week. I could understand how Bella had felt when Edward left her, which now felt like a lifetime ago. I felt empty, lost and broken.

"Who knows" I called back. "And who cares" I said muttering to myself. I pulled my seatbelt on and turned the car on roughly. I revved the car and reversed quickly, driving off aggressively into the dark wet night.

A couple of hours later my eyes began getting heavy. I didn't want to endanger anyone elses life with my issues so I pulled over. I locked the doors and crawled into the back seat, falling asleep surprisingly quickly.

The morning came quickly and painlessly. I crawled back into the front and started the car. I steered onto the road, not really caring which direction I was going in and turned on the radio. It was 8am. I turned the radio up as I continued driving. 'This aint a love song' came on and I broke into tears. I was a man but I missed my girl so much. I knew how much she hurt me but I still missed her. I missed her giggle and her smile. She was the most important person in my life. I pulled over, the tears still rolling down my face. I banged my fist down on my steering wheel swearing and sobbed for everything I had lost and everything that had lost me.

After about an hour of sitting there, I knew I needed to stay away. I wiped my face with my sleeve, drove back onto the road and continued driving.

Nessies POV

It had been 2 weeks since I had last seen Jake. No one was talking to me except for my vampire family. I had tried to call Jake of course but he never picked up. Some days were worse than others. Some days I had just moped around the house but others I would walk into the woods and scream and cry for hours. To the outside world, what I did may not have seemed that bad. But to Jake I know it was. I was the only women he could go to about anything. Love was also SO important to him. I could see it in his eyes when he looked at me. When he kissed me. I knew I had betrayed that way far beyond repair. He would never trust me again.

I was separated from my thoughts when I heard a soft knock at my door.

"Who is it?" I asked my voice cracking. I didn't even realise I was crying.

"Your favourite person in the WHOLE WORLD!" I could hear Uncle Emmett grinning as he spoke and normally I would giggle. But I didn't.

"Come in" I whispered. He walked in and saw me shaking, and holding my pillow with tears rolling down my face.

He came and sat down next to me on the bed and wrapped his massive arms around me.

"Why won't he talk to me" I blubbered loudly into his jumper. Uncle Emmett rubbed my back and wiped the tears away from my face.

"He will sweetheart" Emm soothed. "Just give him time".

I don't know how long we sat there. The sky changed from grey to black at some point. I didn't care about specifics anymore. I shut my eyes listening to the rain pound on the roof...

The next time I opened my eyes it was morning. Uncle Emmett had left and someone had tucked me into bed. I had lived through another day. I sighed and rolled over to grab my phone. I dialled Jakes number and as usual, he didn't answer. This was my morning routine. As I went to put my phone back, my laptop caught my eye. I hadn't thought of emailing Jake.

I jumped out of bed and grabbed my laptop and sprawled out on my bed beginning my email.

_Dear Jacob,_

_Words cannot begin to describe how much I miss you. I know "I'm sorry" won't help any more. Every day I wake up, thankful that I have lived through another day, and then the pain sinks in. I have this hole in my chest and the only way it will be fixed is by having you back. I know I don't deserve you. I treated you like crap and I feel like one of those sluts on TV that we always make fun of. Every time I hear or read something that reminds me of you, I burst into tears. One song that has been on every radio station is "This Aint a Love Song._

_**And I'm a little bit lost without you  
And I'm a bloody big mess inside  
And I'm a little bit lost without you  
This aint a love song this is goodbye  
This aint a love song this is goodbye **_

_Jake I am so lost without you. Even now the tears are running down my face as I write this, making it difficult to see. I can feel your warm loving arms wrapped around me, your love making me the happiest girl in the world. But Jacob, I know this aint a love song and I know this is goodbye. Because I don't deserve anyone like you. I know the imprint will make it hard but I don't deserve you._

_I will always love you,_

_Renesmee._

I kissed the screen and pressed 'send'. I let the tears roll down my face, not trying to deny that it was my fault that Jacob had gone. He had done nothing wrong. I had ruined the best thing I had in my life. I shut my computer down and buried my head under my pillows, hoping to never resurface.

**I've just finished watching titanic so I'm in a depressed mood :P**

**Thanks for reading**

**xxxx**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys, thanks for the review I got from the last chapter. Even though it was only one review at least I know at least someone is reading and wants to know what happens. **

**I chose the mood of this chapter by shuffling songs by my all time favourite band paramour and focusing on the mood of the song that came on.**

**Unfortunately Stephenie owns everything. EXCEPT Taylor Lautner **** AND PARAMORE TICKETS FOR THEIR AUSTRALIAN TOUR!**

JACOBS POV

Nessie's email. That was what had been going over and over again in my head. Naturally I was annoyed that she thought she wasn't good enough for me but then I realised that she was giving up so easily on us. It made me angry to think that `she could write this email and not even try to find me. I would be happy if she screamed phone messages at me. At least I would know she still cared.

I punched my dashboard, which didn't help because I put a dent in it.

"Damn" I muttered. I was si confused. I was angry at Nessie for not trying harder, angry at myself for overreacting, annoyed at myself for being stubborn, and suffering from getting hardly any sleep trying to curl my body into the backseat of my rabbit.

"Screw it" I muttered and started the car which had been groaning at being idle for so long. I turned the car around and headed back to Forks, not sure what my plan was.

NESSIES POV

3 weeks. It had been 2 weeks since I had emailed him and I had no response. Mum and dad were getting more and more worried as the days passed. I wasn't eating or drinking and I could see the changes because of it. My face was thinner and pale and almost sickly looking and I had dark rings under my eyes. I was a lot thinner and didn't even care what I looked like because I never went out. I sat in my trakkies and hoodie all day, not moving, not talking, hardly even sleeping. I had heard Grandpa talking to mum and dad one night about forcing me to eat but I kept my door locked. I knew they could easily knock the door down but Dad knew that wouldn't help. Last night I overheard mum and dad talking.

"This is exactly what I went through when you left me" I heard mum say to dad softly. I heard him take a shaky breath and then say,

"Bella love, I am so sorry. I don't understand how your dad coped. She won't talk, she won't eat. I am so worried". Mum said something I couldn't understand and then I heard a massive crash and dad snarl

"If Jacob doesn't come back soon I'm going to track him down and drag him back to Forks by his fur".

I wasn't sure when I had fallen asleep exactly but instead of visualising mum and on the lounge, stressing over me, I was sitting on a cliff looking out to the sun setting with Jake in wolf form sitting next to me.

JACOBS POV

2 Days later and I had just passed the 'Welcome to Forks' sign. I wasn't quite sure where I had been but knowing that I was going to see Nessie soon made the pain in my chest worse. Even though I kept telling myself I was just going to yell at her and thank her for screwing up our future and not even fight or it, but I knew I wouldn't be able to be that strong. As soon as I saw her I knew I would crumble at her sight. I drove through the forest, finally reaching the cottage. I parked the car, took a deep breath and got out of the car. A second later Edward was standing front of my, one hand grabbing my shirt and growling.

"Get your hands off me bloodsucker" I snarled.

"You think you can just come back and everything can go back to normal? Well you don't know..."He bellowed until he trailed off reading my thoughts. I told him anyway.

"I have NOT come back for good. I found MY girl ripping her clothes off for some desperate bastard. I don't handle that shit so I leave. I still love her though, how crazy is that" I stopped to take a breath. I couldn't detect Edwards's expression. I was going to continue until I saw Nessie make her way to us. She looked terrible. I almost didn't recognise her. My gorgeous, glowing woman was now a shadow of her former self. She was gaunt. I almost broke there but took another breath and continued, more to Nessie than to her father.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS WITH THAT EMAIL?"I growled into her face. She cowered, and took a shaky breath.

"I wanted you to know how I felt" she said timidly, her eyes starting to water.

"BULLSHIT! You said you LOVED ME! That was all crap wasn't it" I yelled. She shook her head, the tears spilling out over her cheeks. At this point I was shaking, in danger of phasing.

"You send me this email telling me you're giving up on this! IF YOU LOVED ME YOU WOULD FUCKING FIGHT FOR US!" I growled menacingly.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!" I roared to no one in particular. By this time the rest of the Cullen's had come out.

"THE TWO WOMEN I FALL IN LOVE WITH DONT WANT ME". My whole body was still shaking but the pain of Bella and Nessie was getting to me.

I looked at Bella. "I loved you Bells. But you chose him" I nudged my head towards Edward.

I then looked at Nessie. "I fell in love with you. You were, DAMMIT, you are my life!. I need you. But you've hurt me too much. I can't risk my heart again. It just hurts too much" I knew I already sounded weak, but my eyes filled with tears and they spilled over my cheeks. I was too exhausted to continue. I mumbled a "Bye", wiped my cheeks and managed to phase. I didn't have any more energy as a wolf than I did human. I stumbled my way into the forest. I heard Nessie sobbing loudly and I heard I scream "THIS IS ALL MY FAULT I'M SUCH A SCREW UP!" A pained and defeated howl ripped through me. I tripped over a log, let out a whimper and didn't have the energy to get up. I layed on the forest floor, physically, emotionally and mentally broken.

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	6. Chapter 6

Hey guys, sorry about the lack of updates. School was waaaaay to hectic but finished forever now! Taylor, your review was gorgeous. I would have loved to send you a PM but it was an anonymous review. I have a new story, go read! I may continue this in the future but after reading, I understand everyone's annoyance with it!


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